Three weeks?

Today is officially the 3 week mark of my new lifestyle – in reality, I’m counting 22 days, 3 weeks ago today was my first day counting calories. Unfortunately, I made the same mistake last night as I did last Tuesday, and I weighed myself when I went home. Tired Tuesdays are killers for me, so when its slow at work and I’m tired, I end up munching endlessly.  Last night, I actually consumed 1,800 calories, which is more than I have on any week day in the last two weeks. I didn’t exercise, and I went home feeling tired and bloated. The scale showed that I was 6lbs heavier than when I weighed myself Saturday morning, which isn’t a total surprise, but it was definitely defeating. I know that water weight can fluctuate a lot and there is a difference between weight in the morning and evening, but I felt pretty crappy after being up for 20 hours and not having anything to show for my hard work.

Last week, I felt the same way, and then Saturday I had a pleasant surprise on the scale. SO, today I’ve been holding on to that as motivation, and felt good during my run.  I also recently figured out how far that I’ve been going on my runs, which is about 1.5 miles.  Because of the way the C25k thing is designed, I walk and jog on and off for 9 minutes and 12 minutes respectively (for week 2). There is also a warm up and cool down for 5 minutes each, so in 31 minutes, I only go about 1.5 miles. Its kind of embarrassing when I put it in those terms, but I’m trying to keep positive and recognize that in like 7 more weeks, Ill be able to go the same amount of time and around twice as far.  By holding on to that thought, I made it through my run with flying colors today. Saturday I thought it was SO hard, and today it was bearable… even in the 25 degree weather. This is the third day this week that I’ve done it, and I plan to go again tomorrow, even tho C25k only requires three days per week. If you would have told me a month ago that I’d be running 4 days a week now, I probably would have laughed in your face.

On another, more personal note, Jared brought up the idea of babies today. He very seriously told me this morning that he thinks we should consider getting pregnant in the near future. AHHH. We had a really calm conversation about it, even though I thought he was being irrational and was freaking out inside. First of all, I don’t feel like I’m healthy enough to get pregnant right now. My body probably could, but I REFUSE to be one of those women with gestational diabetes… and possibly full blown Type 2 after the baby. I also don’t feel like we’re in the financial place for that. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment, we spend our money on stupid shit (BOTH of us), and I currently have one day off a week. WHEN am I supposed to take care of the baby? Where is it supposed to sleep? How are we supposed to get another place or buy a house when we don’t make much money, and we have no savings? I just have so many questions… and Jared does not have any long-term planning capabilities. We made a goal like 5 weeks ago that if he worked ONE shift of over time per week (he either has 3 days off or 4.. every week), I would say that we could combine our money to have a joint account. This is the third week that he didn’t do it. It’s so annoying to me, because HE is the one that wants to combine our money, but HE isn’t working for it at all. I don’t care that I make more money than him, but I DO care that I work harder. Sometimes it seems like its all about instant gratification for him… which is probably where this baby thing is coming from. He wants one today… but he’ll get over it by next week.

I can’t say that I haven’t been thinking about it, though. I mean, that is part of this whole process for me. I want to have kids in the next couple of years, and this is the time for me to get healthy and plan for that stuff. I need to get my finances in order, as well as my health. Yikes. Babies are a scary topic for me. I much prefer dogs….

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