Monthly Archives: April 2014

Double take

Today I went running twice…. kinda. I made a plan yesterday to start running before work because of the length of time it takes.  Unfortunately, when I went to leave to go running with Ava, Yoli wanted to come too. She’s always been a pretty big baby when I left the house with Ava and not her, but today, I couldn’t get her back in the house unless we went too. Sometimes she’s too smart (and dumb) for her own (and my own good). So, anyways, we all went running together. The only problem is that Yoli is a hound mix, so she doesn’t just go and run. She doesn’t go anywhere without her nose on the ground. This causes a problem for me when I’m running because either she is pulling on the leash ahead of me, or I’m dragging her because she stopped to smell something. Yoli’s presence also always excites Ava a bit, so when she starts freaking out and getting distracted, it starts to drive me crazy and really distract me from the running.

So, I made it about half of a lap, which is 1/5 of a mile, and then I gave up and just started walking back to the car. I was totally annoyed and frustrated, even though I expected it. I went home, and just hung out with the girls for a while before I went to work instead of sticking it out. I made a plan to run at work again, even though I didn’t really want to, and said that was that. The cool thing, is that I actually did run at work (which I’ll get to later). I walked the dogs up the hill when I woke up, I went out to get a real workout in about two hours later (and didn’t really succeed), and then I ran over three miles at work. That is a lot of exercise! Three months ago, I wouldn’t have done any ONE of those things, let alone all three. I would have used the failed attempt to not try again, and I would have used the sucky weather to keep me from going on the walk in the morning. This is a great accomplishment!

Okay, so back to business. Ava and I got our TDI stuff in the mail today 🙂ImageIt includes a book of stuff to know, a bandana, and a name badge. I’m trying to switch my schedule at work right now so that I can spend next Tuesday in Clarion providing Animal Assisted Therapy to the college kids during finals. It would be pretty cool to be able to do that. PLUS I’d have an excuse to see my mama, and I’m always happy for those. We need to practice up a bit this week to get back to our usual routine so that she doesn’t jump on anyone and she remembers how to walk on my heel. I’m thinking this practice will also help her run on a heel when I want her to. Of course, that also means I need to stop being so soft and leave Yoli at home, but who knows if that will ever happen ha.

Back to my run tonight. It was awesome! I was in the zone. I totally was lost in my thoughts for most of it and didn’t feel exhausted or crappy much at all. I also noticed something this week; I have more energy after mile one of my run. I actually picked up the pace for my second and third miles as compared to my first. It wasn’t an exponential change or anything, but my first mile was right around 15 minutes, and my last two were closer to 13.5 or 14. Weird how that is happening. I’m thinking its because at the beginning of the run I’m still getting warmed up, and toward the end of the run I’m loosened up and lost somewhere in my mind. Either way, its totally cool.

Also, today is the first time that I’m 100% sure that I ran an entire 5k. The workout was 3 sets of 15 minutes jogging and 1 minute of walking. I definitely finished 3 of the miles with 3 minutes left, meaning that I ran 3 miles in 42 minutes.  I didn’t walk very far on my 1 minute walking breaks either, so I’m pretty confident that I could run the whole thing without any walking, which is pretty cool. That is a terrible time for a 5k though. One of my old friends from college started running just over a month before me and she is under 40 minutes for her 5k, so I’m totally jealous. I’m hoping that in another month of jogging I’ll be doing the same. According to the 10k trainer I’m using, I should be able to run 10k in two weeks. In reality, that is only 60 minutes, so it may be more like four miles, since I’m running three in just under 45 minutes now. I hope that isn’t the case. I was hoping my pace would start to pick up by now, but it hasn’t really. Maybe I need to tweak my workout schedule to add a faster-paced, shorter run on the weekends. Maybe if I add one 2 mile run on the weekends to see how quick I can do it, it will help me pick up my pace naturally on week days? God, sometimes I feel like I know nothing about running.

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Delayed weigh-in

So, I decided that weigh-in day would be Friday… and then I didn’t post all weekend. That was rude! I did weigh in, though, so I will just post today for then, and then try to remember to do better this week.

ImageDown to 248! It feels great to be in the 40’s again. This is definitely the lowest I’ve weighed since I moved to Pittsburgh, so I’m feeling really accomplished. Unfortunately, all of this free time has really messed with my eating habits. Last week, I was eating right around 1000 calories per day and running nearly 3 miles. When the weekend came, I didn’t need to catch up on sleep, and I had lots of down time, so I had trouble not binging. I managed to control myself Friday and Saturday, until we went out Saturday night with some friends. I had tater tots covered in cheese with my beer, which I’m sure was just an obscene amount of calories. They were totally worth it, because I worked so hard all week, but when Sunday came around, I had trouble again. I didn’t have much planned other than dinner with some girlfriends, so I ate pretty healthily until AFTER dinner, and then I totally binged my way right through the evening. It was horrible. I need to find some kind of hobby to keep myself busy in my three days off.

My plans for handling this in the future are as follows: First, I want to start doing at least one workout on the weekend, but possibly two. Its hard for me to agree to this because I’m much better at working out when there is specific scheduled time for it (like my hour lunch break at work). Because the 10k workouts are too long for my hour lunch break (this week they total 58 minutes), I need to work to get them in at another time. I’m excited to be running farther, but worried about figuring out how to fit them into my ‘down time.’ I”m not used to down time, so this is yet another thing that I need to learn to deal with in my transition out of grad school. I’ve transitioned to eating much healthier over the last three months, so now I just need to continue transitioning with the rest of my life. My second plan for this is to make sure I have at least one BIG thing planned per weekend. This week I spent Fri-Sat in Clarion, and had a blast with Jared.

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It was a really great time going to our favorite townie bar in our college town (my home town). Unfortunately, after Saturday, I still had a whole day off and nothing BIG to do. I need to find something to fill my time so that I’m either having a good time, or I’m tired, so I don’t feel like just sitting around and eating. We’ll have to see how that changes in the future.

I was actually really excited last week to see such good results on the scale, but after eating like shit all weekend, I’ve kinda moved a couple steps backwards, it seems. This morning I was back in 50’s again. I’m not sure how much of that is just water weight and how much is real weight, but either way, I’m not very happy about it. I need to hold on to this feeling the next time I feel bingey so that I can play the tape the whole way through. Hopefully that will help me avoid eating a bunch of crap for no reason.

Easter Weekend

Well, its been nearly a week since I last posted. Lots of things have happened, including spending the weekend on the other side of the state with my in-laws! It wasn’t a perfect weekend by any means, but it was nice to have a break from my real life for a while and just go with the flow. I always fall in love with my husband all over again when we go to his family’s house, too, because he is such a family man and that is something I LOVE about him. He always spends a ton of time with our nieces and nephews just doing what they like to do, which is totally cool. It’s just great to see him happy… and to see some daddy practice. 🙂

This was my first whole weekend away from my healthy lifestyle. I didn’t have any snacks with me and I didn’t go run any of the days we were gone, which is quite a surprise. I was worried that I was going to actually gain weight that week, so I weighed myself Friday morning before my last day of internship, and then again Monday, the morning after we got home. It turns out, I actually kept the same weight over the weekend, which was at about 251lbs… which is a total success!

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I had some sweets and ate two different Easter dinner, but I didn’t overdo it at all. I only ate when we had our meals, and just tried to be mindful of my own hunger so I didn’t overeat just because I felt like it. I’m really proud of myself! I managed to lose two more pounds over the last week even through a few ‘cheat days’ and stressful things. I didn’t even celebrate the end of school by overeating, which is definitely something to be proud of. I could overeat to celebrate anything, so its really great to be able to hang in there even through good times and bad. I’m gonna start my weigh-in days on Friday’s for right now, so we’ll have to see how it goes this week. I’m hoping to be under 250 by Friday because it will be so great to see 40’s on the scale for the first time in over a year (I think).

Its also been pretty easy for me to get back into the groove of things this week, even after taking a whole weekend off of my healthy habits.  I was thinking it might be tough to start counting again after taking two days off, but Monday morning I got right back into it without missing a beat. It is awesome. I also am able to get as much sleep as I want at night right now because I don’t have anything but work this week. It is great to just be awake 11 hours for work and then be home sleeping however much I want, because I don’t have like 20 hours in a day to eat. Its amazing what those 9 extra hours of not-eating do for the calorie count at the end of the day!

Last week I finished the C25k workout series! Woop woop!

ImageI was supposed to finish it on Wednesday, but I went out to run and didn’t really feel like it. My knee was sore and I was tired, and I just didn’t WANT to run. So, I did some crossfit stuff instead (lunges, squats, etc), and then finished it on Thursday instead of Wednesday. I was pretty beat Thursday too, but I pushed through because I wanted to be able to say I finished it in the amount of time I was supposed to, even though I thought I wouldn’t last past week 3! I’m really proud that I’ve been able to do this whole thing. Eight weeks and thirty pounds have passed, and I can run over two miles without stopping. That is just incredible. I’m still feeling like I’m going strong… and I’ve started doing the 10k program this week! The first week has 4 reps of 10mins jogging and 1 min walking. I started it yesterday and the app got fucked up in the middle, so I just ran 1.5 miles and did some stretching instead of trying to start it over. I got pretty frustrated when it screwed up and I wanted to just be done. Today, I tried again and it worked (thank god), but it was HARD! The first two reps were pretty good, and I had 4 laps done at 20 minutes, which is one lap shy of two miles. I knew that I couldn’t keep that pace up because I was starting to get tired, but I did manage to finish right around 7 laps total, so I hit just under 3 miles for the whole run. I’m glad that I could finish, but it was pretty exhausting. That is 10 minutes longer than the last run that I did last week, so it makes sense that I was beat, but it helped to have the 1 minute walking parts in the middle.  I was able to check the times and just focus on making it to the next walking set, and because I have been doing 35-30 minute runs with no break, anything less than 10 minutes feels very doable. I checked my times and I’m at about 12 minute miles, which is pretty good for me. When I first started this whole thing, I was doing like 20minute miles, so this is definitely a big change. AND I can do two miles without too much trouble at 12 min/mile pace so I’m just feeling really accomplished this week.

In other news, I have an interview at a counseling agency tomorrow that I’m really excited for! I also got a call back from another place I applied but I have to get a hold of them tomorrow to set up a time to meet. This is exciting stuff because I really want to get a job right out of the gate. I need to accrue hours to get my license in the next two years, so getting a full-time job will be AWESOME for that. Eeeek!

My LAST Tired Tuesday!

This is a wonderful week 🙂

I started off with a great run yesterday, I have pretty much all my work done for school, and I have a great weekend to look forward to! Today I’ve been feeling very ‘bingey’ as I would call it, but I’ve done an amazing job handling my emotions and emotional eating. I had a really tough morning at my internship, and on the way home I was feeling really really triggered. It took just about everything I had to avoid stopping at McDonalds and just eat my feelings, but I did it! I made a deal with myself that if I ate more than 1,400 calories today and none of them were from a fast-food place, then I would forgive myself. Well, as it turns out, I haven’t eaten more than that even though I’ve been so weirdly hungry, and I’m feeling really empowered because of it. For the longest time I thought that if I got hungry, I’d be in really dangerous territory and I would just eat a whole mountain of food. At times, this has happened, but in the past, I was just as likely to binge when I was starving as I was when I wasn’t even slightly hungry. It was often just a routine, so whether it was a specific route on the road or leaving a certain place, it was something I got used to doing whether I was hungry or not. The other times I overate was when things weren’t going my way. So, if I was exhausted, if I got in a fight with someone, or if I just was feeling bad, I was waay overeating. Even though I think of myself as happy over the past several years, I definitely self-soothed with food when I thought something was sucky, which suggests I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was. This suggestion makes sense except sometimes I would eat just to celebrate something… Its all a crapshoot. I’m just glad that I’m getting much better at managing it all.

Today I weighed myself (impromptu weigh-in that I’m not actually counting) and I’ve officially passed the 30lbs-lost mark. Two months and 30 lbs feels like a real lifestyle change, and although it is probably too early to say that, I’m happy that it feels true! I hope that people start noticing sometime soon, because I can definitely tell in my clothes now. Most of them fit the way they are supposed to or are too big now, which is much different than how it was 30lbs ago. Yes, I was wearing pants that were too small, but now they are right around the right size, and definitely much more comfortable. Its nice that I look forward to washing my pants because I know they will fit BETTER when they shrink a little in the dryer, and before I was avoiding drying them because I didn’t want them to be too small.  Right now I’m trying to figure out what I’ll wear to visit my in-laws this weekend, because I like to look cute while I’m there, but they’re all teeny-tiny, so I don’t like to wear anything too tight that makes me feel too big and chubby. I’ll have to see what feels good on Friday, especially after my period is officially over and I’m no longer bloated. Like I said, I’m looking forward to the end of this week. 🙂

Its a great day!

Today was an amazing run day! It stormed all day, and then about an hour before I went on my break from work, it stopped and cleared up. The weather was super nice, and it turns out that 60 degrees is the perfect temperature for me to run in. Also, there was another guy running on the track, and for my last lap, he was about 30 feet in front of me. I set a goal to catch him by the time my time was up, even though I was exhausted. He must have caught on to what I was doing, because he picked up the pace as I started to get closer, and by the time we had just about finished the lap, I was running pretty much at a sprint (or at least the equivalent after running 2 miles). It was awesome. I didn’t even recognize how hard I was working until I turned the corner and he continued going straight because at that point, I slowed down for the last minute or two. As I slowed down, my breath caught up to me, and I was kinda dying. It was the best feeling I’ve felt in a while. It was accomplishment and empowerment all put together. It made me sooo happy too because my run last Thursday was soo crappy that I had been feeling a little bad about my working out. Now, I’m feeling rejuvenated going into the last workout of the entire C25k plan!

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To celebrate, I took a selfie in the mirror to show my progress so far. After 8 weeks of running and eating healthier, I’ve hit my first goal (28lbs), so here is a picture to go with that. My shirt is a little baggy so its hard to tell exactly what I look like underneath, but regardless of what I look like, I feel good! And that is just as important as anything else in this process.

This weekend I did a really good job sticking to my (not) diet. In the past few weekends, I’ve been having cheat days or days where I had big plans that caused me to go over my usual calories by a few hundred (usually not more than 2,000 total tho). This weekend I really stuck to my 1,400 or fewer calories per day because I know next weekend is going to be a struggle. It will be my first whole weekend on the road since I started this process, so it will be a challenge just to keep track of what I’m eating, let alone have healthy enough options to eat under 1,400 cals per day.

This is also my last week of school! Yaaaay! When I get up for internship in 4 hours, I’m gonna have to remind myself of that because I know I’ll be tired just like always. I’ve been doing this mindfulness thing lately where I work on a mandala to slow down my mind and focus. I did a few with Jared on Friday and I’ve been working on them since in my spare time. It’s kinda just a fun way to pass time and center myself. I’m hoping that will help me with the exhaustion I feel on Tuesday mornings. We’ll see!

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School is quickly coming to an end!

Sooo, this is my last Saturday at work! School ends in two weeks, but for me it really ends in one because I don’t really have finals. With this transition, it means I’m done working weekends and I can return to my Mon-Thur work schedule! Of course, this is great news for me because now I get to take long trips on the weekends without feeling too exhausted. This also means that I’m probably going to be weighing in on sporadic days, because I’m just not sure what I will be doing on any given day. In fact, next week I’ll be at my in-laws for Easter, so I wont be able to weigh in on Saturday. I’ll try to do so on Friday morning, but we’ll have to see if I remember.

Anyways, I did do my usual weigh-in this morning and I’m down 2.6 more pounds! This is under what I’m used to, but I just started my period yesterday so I’m a little bloated… which usually means water weight. Either way, I met my first goal, which was 10% of my body weight!!! I can’t even believe it!! I’ve lost 28.6 lbs in 8 weeks! I’m thinking it is starting to show a little bit, but I’m not completely sure. I know that I’m feeling it with the clothes I wear.  For example, I’ve been running in the same 3 pairs of yoga pants since I started, and I’ve lost enough weight that they are starting to slip down when I run. It is a little annoying, but any ‘problems’ that I have due to weight loss, are okay problems in my book! I also wore some capri’s to internship yesterday that I was sure were too small for me. It turns out, they fit me better now than they did when I bought them!

I love checking in with good news. As I said, this wasn’t a perfect week for me in weight loss, but that is okay. I got some food inspiration again this week, so it wasn’t too hard to stick to my plans like last week. I’ve been pretty successful with the foods I have, and on Wednesday, even though it seemed like I was eating at work all night, I actually only had like 1,000 calories for the whole day. I switched from drinking the Special K morning shakes for breakfast to eating a spinach and cheese hot pocket. There are only 60 more calories in the hot pockets, and they have been subsiding my hunger way better. They both have the same amount of protein, but something about the solid food makes me feel more full than the small drinks that I’d been using before that.

Today also starts the last week of the C25k workout I’ve been doing. Two days of 28 minute jogs and one day of 30 minutes, and then I’m completely done. I actually just downloaded the 10k version, which starts with the same exact 8 weeks as the C25k workouts. I would switch over to that app now, but I’m really looking forward to seeing that I’ve completed all eight weeks! I like seeing the milestones that I’ve passed on my own. Like I said last week, I need to find little ways to keep up the motivation, so this little boost is going to be one of them. After next week, I’ll begin working on a 10k. I think the app goes 13 weeks, so after 5 more weeks of dying (yes, that word is synonymous with running), I should be able to run more than three miles. I know my speed is slower than a 10 minute mile, so I wont be running a full 10k right then, but I’m not slow enough that I won’t be going at least 4-5 miles in that time. SO, I’m hanging on to the idea that I’ll be able to run 3+ miles in the near future, which is HUGE for a beginning runner. I can’t believe I’m getting so excited about exercising!

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Eight weeks and counting.

Welp, its Tired Tuesday again… but its my second-to-last one EVER (hopefully). I had planned on posting yesterday but never really got around to it because my boss was kinda hovering at work again. It seems like no matter how much I have to do, or how often I go searching for more tasks, its never quite enough for her. Its really beginning to take a tole on my emotions while at work. I’m looking forward to graduation, cuz I’ll be able to tell my current job to ‘shit in their hats’ as Jared would put it haha.

This weekend he and I went to a Pirates game!

ImageIt was a blast. I actually had quite a few beers, which is somewhat unusual for me because they’re sooo expensive at the game. I guess Sunday the weather was just right and the kid behind us who wouldn’t stop screaming was a perfect excuse to have another haha. I really didn’t eat any junk during the game, which was great, but when I got home, I was soo hungry (and slightly drunk) that I binged and didn’t even think twice. It’s frustrating that this happened because I was upset at the beginning of last week for feeling like I really slipped up on the weekend, and then I had a good weigh-in… so it almost justified it in my head while it happened, which is not what I want at all! Some people have a ‘cheat day’ each week, but I just don’t want to get into that habit. It seems like we go to restaurants more on the weekends, but generally I make good choices there so now I’m kinda mad at myself for being so impulsive.

I’ve also had the munchies pretty badly all day today. At times I’m completely aware that I’m not hungry, but for some reason I still want to eat. Its 3:20 AM and I’ve only had 1300 calories, which isn’t bad for being up for the last 21 hours, but regardless, I hate the feeling of dissatisfaction. Grrrrrr. I need to behave this weekend so that next week is easier again, because it seems like when I stay in the groove of things, I don’t get the munchies too much… so if I keep slipping up on the weekends, the beginning of the week is going to continue to suck. It’s like I’m a masochist or something.

As for running, this week is 25 minutes straight all three days! I was supposed to go out monday on my lunch break but didn’t because it was cold and rainy. It is one thing to run when its cold OR raining, but when its both and I have to return to work afterwards, it makes for a very miserable me. I don’t want to look like hell OR feel like hell, and the combination of cold and wet would be sure to leave me feeling that way. SO, now I need to run the next two days no matter what happens. I’m sure I can do it though, since I’ll at least get some sleep tonight. Derek has been sleeping over lately, tho, so its a little weird in the house. Its not bad, and I like that he feels comfortable in our home, but if it were long term, I’d reeeeeeeeeeeeeally miss walking around in my undies. I think he’s only staying thru the weekend, though, so I’m suuure I can handle it.

Super Saturday!

Its weigh in day again! With this tough week, I thought for sure I was off track and was going to end up with a crappy weigh in. To my surprise and delight, I lost another 3.6lbs! This is wonderful! I’ve been feeling guilty about the weekend allllllll week, so it is nice that I was able to push through and keep myself on track, regardless of the feelings that I’ve had about this whole process. I have plans to go to the grocery store tomorrow and I’m gonna get a bunch of new things to try that will hopefully kick-start my habits and help me feel satisfied by what I’m eating again. As of right now, I weigh 256.0 lbs; two pounds away from my first goal, 254, which would be 10% of my body weight lost! I’m excited that next week I will probably hit this goal, which will be around 28-29 lbs in eight weeks! I feel like it will be the perfect positive reinforcement for me to continue with my journey.

Sometimes in therapy, we ask our clients the question, ‘Why are you here?’ when they aren’t fully participating in treatment or they sound like they are getting complacent. I want to check in on some reasons that I want to continue, not because I feel like I’ve finished, but because I want to help refresh myself. Obviously, all of the health reasons that I talked about before are important; I want babies in the next few years, I want to be able to participate in activities that require walking/hiking, and I want to live a long life with my amazing husband. As it turns out, I think it will help me to have a few short-term reasons for continuing, because sometimes the bigger picture is hard to lose sight of in the moment.

So, I have a few ‘events’ coming up that I’d also like to continue for. This is the beginning of April, and I have plans for three different weekends this month. First, Easter Sunday is in two weeks and I’m going home-home with Jared to spend the weekend with his family. They live like 5 hours away, so we don’t get to see them very much. When I first met them, I was at a fairly healthy weight, probably around 200lbs. Over the last few years with him, I’ve gained a considerable amount (at least 80 lbs), and so they’ve seen me both at my smallest (4 years ago), and at my largest (December this year).  I want to look better than I did then, because they are all petite and I feel super sized around them. Jared has his mom’s body, and is quite petite like her, so picture him, in a female body, and multiply by 4. That is a very petite army of women who are all dwarfed by me (a big fat cow). Anyways, you can see my frustration. SO, in two more weeks, I will have lost just over 30lbs, so I expect that they will be able to notice that I’m a little smaller than I was at Christmas. I’m trying to convince myself that if they don’t notice, I wont be disappointed, but you know how that goes…

The Gun Raffle is the next weekend, and it goes on at Limestone Firehall, an event that I have volunteered at for probably the last 10-15 years of my life. Because I practically grew up there, it will be nice to feel a little more confident in myself when I’m there (I’m also hoping to get a few compliments… god I’m turning very narcissistic ).

Finally, the weekend after that, I’m going to Miami with Jared for the weekend to meet up with my older brother. Obviously, I’m not going to look great in a swimming suit, but I’m hoping to fit into some shorts without feeling totally uncomfortable, and I want to look half-decent in a sundress. Because we’re only going to be down there for like 2.5 days, I’m just going to bring a backpack, meaning I’ll only have a few outfits. I want to bring some sun dresses that I have that I wore on my honeymoon, and I think I was about 240ish pounds then (or possibly even heavier).

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This is a good angle, so I probably look thinner than I really was, but this is a picture of us in Key West on our honeymoon in January 2013.

I’m looking forward to feeling good in those outfits again, especially because summer is coming and I LOVE sundresses. Who knew I’d grow up to be such a girl.  So, overall, I have a few upcoming ‘events’ that I want to use as motivation to continue with what I’ve been doing so far.

In other news, I’m doing some research this week to try to find a new program that will help me pick up my speed as I run. I have exactly two weeks of C25k left, and I want to have a good plan in place for when it ends. So far, I’ve been able to continue running for all of the time that I was supposed to, but I know my pace hasn’t been as fast. I need to do some research to find if it is better to just keep running 30 minutes per day when I finish, or if doing some kind of intervals or something will be better. Me thinking about this is probably a way to distract from how scary it is that I’m graduating soon, which is a big old animal creeping up on me, but regardless, it is a nice break… Plus I’m feeling really excited that I can run for 30 minutes, since two months ago, I thought I was gonna die when I did six sets of 1.5 minutes. Its amazing how successful I’ve been in this program, and I really doubted myself. This just goes to show… trust the process!

Since its Saturday and I always post park pics, here are a few of our wonderful time in the mud yesterday! Ava reeeeeally loves the mud…

She seems to like to swim in mud puddles.
She seems to like to swim in mud puddles.
Yoli
Isn’t she cute?

Okay, I admit it. I’m a nerdy dog-lover. I can’t help it! Even though I hate taking an extra hour to give both dogs a bath after a trip to the park…. I can’t help but take them because they just love it there so much! Ever heard happy wife, happy life? I think its more like happy dogs, happy everyone 🙂

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The need to shake things up.

Well, this has been another tough week, but not for the same reasons as last week. As my last post indicated, I’ve been having a tough time with my healthy eating this week. Both weekend days I splurged some, which has been affecting me every day since. Even though I haven’t gone over 1,400 calories any day since Sunday, I have really been struggling with cravings and triggers to binge. I’m not sure if its because I indulged a couple of times this weekend, or if I’m just getting to the point where I need to introduce some new, tasty foods into my diet, but either way, I’m not very happy about it. I think the combo of the two is really the problem. I didn’t cook for the week at all on Sunday, so every day I’ve just been eating whatever I could find in my house… which has been those little ‘Compleats’ things nearly every day. They aren’t horrible, but I just feel like I need something really satisfying, and I haven’t had that. Plus, two days this week at work there were tasty foods that were offered to everyone from our bosses, and I really wanted to have some both days. Monday, they had grilled hot dogs to celebrate the kickoff of Pirates baseball, and Tuesday my boss bought the department pizza. Instead I ate crappy, processed food that I didn’t even enjoy. Ugh. Fortunately, today when I weighed myself to just check-in, I was at an expected weight for the day of the week, so I felt a little better.

Now, on a brighter note, this week I ran four times! It was really tough because Saturday I had to catch up for last week, and the day was supposed to be 20 mins. That was like waaaay longer than I ever remember running at a time, and I didn’t get to walk at all. After successfully completing it though, I felt so accomplished and good about myself that I didn’t even worry about any of the other work outs this week. Today was W6D3, which means 22 minutes of jogging straight. I did it without too much trouble! At times, I did feel like I was going too slow though, so after I finish the program in two weeks, I need to start working on speed. The last minute of today’s run, I picked up the pace a lot and really extended my legs (which are really long), so I’m hoping that if I keep running for quite a while, I will begin to do this more naturally which will both elongate my muscles and increase my speed.

In other, more personal news, today it’s raining again! 🙂

ImageI walked around campus for like 15 minutes after my workout just splashing through puddles in my bare feet. It’s only like 45-50 degrees in Pittsburgh today, but I was hot from my workout, and I just love the rain so much. I can see the world getting greener for every drop!

Tonight I have a little date planned with Jared. A couple of weeks ago he ditched me on a Thursday night to hang out with his friends, and I was pretty bummed about it, but I can tell he is making an effort to hang around more with me. His mom has been texting me this week too, which is always really nice. Its weird to enjoy texting someone’s MOM, but to be honest, I love that we’ve grown closer, even though we live like 5 hours away from them. She’s really making an effort to spend time with us and plan to be together, and I think its a really positive thing for everyone involved. I know Jared loves going up to see his niece and nephews too, since I wont let him knock me up just yet 😉

Tuesday was April 1st, which is a big date in my life. Two years ago on that day, we met Yoli for the first time. We took her and one of her brothers to the park with us to see what their personalities were and I immediately fell in love with her. She was so sweet and resilient, which was surprising in the runt of the group. She was soo uncoordinated, and you could tell that her siblings beat her up and walked all over her. To this day, she is SUCH a doll, and I’m soo glad we brought her home just a couple of weeks later when she was officially old enough. Clearly, she’s comfortable where she is now!

ImageI think my favorite thing about our family is that we all bring different things to the table, but we all are individuals. For example, Jared is very sweet and sentimental, and I’m more practical and thoughtful. Ava is more needy and loyal, and Yoli is more independent and cuddly. Some of these things don’t seem to go together, but we all make them work. The coolest thing is that we all get along sooo well (mostly), so even though my dogs are both different, they love each other and cuddle every day! They also take care of me as much as I take care of them. I’m so lucky to have Jared AND my dogs. I think we all need each other.

A cheat…weekend?

Well. I had quite a weekend. I was very excited and proud on Saturday after a great weigh-in in the morning, and then a 20 minute jog with NO STOPPING! I had talked about feeling anxious about doing it, and was almost certain that I wasn’t going to be successful, but I WAS WRONG!  I was really proud of myself when I finished it, and I owe it all to my husband who told me about 5 times that he knew I could do it, and I should just focus on finishing, regardless of how fast I was going. So I did. And I finished. Woo!

That night, though, I had several beers with him at home and then indulged with a cinnamon roll that he’d made at like 10pm. The package said they’re only like 140 calories, so I probably didn’t even exceed 2,000 for the day, but it was definitely more than I’m used to. Sunday, we went to Applebee’s for lunch, and I scarfed quite a bit of the spinach dip to myself. I had steak, veggies, and a small portion of red potatoes, so the spinach dip is really what did me in. That evening, we went to the bar for liquid dinner, and I had a few beers. On the way home, he stopped at Wendy’s to get some fast food, and I resisted ordering anything…. but when we got home he couldn’t finish his burger, so I did. I feel pretty crappy about it. I have really avoided fast food for the last several weeks, so being so weak in those moments is really a disappointment to myself. On the other hand, though, it was only half of a burger, and it was DELICIOUS. So, I’m hoping that I’ll just chalk it up to a bad choice and move on.

Today I’m feeling much better. I’m back on the wagon and haven’t been craving anything too extreme. In fact, I’ve been awake for about 19 hours and have only consumed 1,010 calories so far today (I’m about to make some popcorn to make it closer to 1,200), and I did C25k W6D1, so I’m feeling good. This weekend was really tough, though, and I’m hoping that if I get back into it this week, I won’t be too disappointed for my next weigh-in. I feel like this is the biggest obstacle that I’ve had so far, though, so for only one main one in nearly 8 weeks, I’m doing pretty well!