It has been quite an eventful week! The last time I posted was Saturday, and I was feeling bummed because of the rain. Since then I’ve run twice, and both times have gone pretty well. Monday I finished W10D3 of the 10k trainer, and it was a pretty standard day.  Yesterday, instead of working, I went to Clarion to do Animal Assisted Therapy with Ava! It was pretty cool. I was feeling kinda off the whole day, and I think I was just anxious about how she would behave on our first time as volunteers.

ImageAs you can see, she ate it right up. She did great! I was so proud. I think she was possibly even a little sick of all of the attention toward the end, because the group stayed around that size or larger for the whole hour, and by the time it was almost time to go, she would face away from the group instead of look for newcomers. I can’t blame her though. It is exhausting being the center of attention so long! And all those strangers kept kissing her and hugging her and she put up with it… Man. She is awesome.

ImageHere we are before we went in. My mom came with us and took a bunch of pictures on my phone, which is totally cool. Ava is totally in love with my mom too, which is why she looked at the camera! Usually she looks away, the darn sassy girl. She may get her sass from me 😉

Tonight, my run was okay. It was W11D1 of the 10k trainer, so it was 6 minutes more running than last week. I really hustled for the last 8 minutes, which is great, but I was feeling really tired around mile 2. I have this big interview tomorrow so I was trying to rehearse for it in my head to take my mind off of the run, but it didn’t work as well as I hoped. After the first mile I felt good, at mile two I felt crappy, and after mile 3 I felt really good again. Its so weird how my body is handling these longer runs. I officially did 9 laps, which equals out to 3.6 miles. I could tell I really slowed down for the second set of 17 minutes, because I should have been running at least 3 laps for each set, and the second one I barely made it. The first and third were very good though. It felt really good to pick up the pace at the end, too, so maybe I’ll try to do that for my last lap all the time now. Its weird because each run I feel differently. For example, on Monday, I felt really good after mile 1… but before that I was tired and wanted to quit. Today, mile 1 was fine, but I was dying around mile 2. So unpredictable.

I think part of the problem was what I ate yesterday on my trip to clarion. I was planning to go out to dinner with my mom to my favorite restaurant in Clarion, the Pizza Pub, so I was trying to save my calories for the ultra unhealthy steak salad (complete with cheese and french fries). Unfortunately, I ate my usual breakfast at like 10:30am, and we weren’t planning to do dinner until like 5:30. I didn’t bring any snacks, and so I reverted back to past behaviors on the drive… and stopped at Taco Bell. I didn’t overeat which is good, but I still pretty much set myself up for that. I mean, by not bringing snacks, I was setting myself up to do that. I think I was actually hoping for a reason to stop, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. When we go back this weekend, I’m gonna make sure I have a nice, safe plan. Also, Jared will be in the car, and I like to remain strong in his eyes. Hey, any kind of motivation is good motivation… right?

Anyways, yesterday in combination with our trip to the Pirates game with my parents on Sunday may add up to a crappy weigh-in on Friday. When I woke up this morning, I was having trouble finding motivation to remain on my diet. Part of the problem was that I’m starting to really notice the changes in my body because I can fit into ALOT of my old clothes… and when I noticed that, it planted the little seed in my head that I’m good. I don’t need to go any farther. Obviously, weighing 245lbs is still not healthy, so this isn’t true, but its still in my mind. I’m hoping that recognizing that this is a thought distortion is going to help. Something else that will help is having a more structured day-job. I have two interviews this week, and I’m hoping that at least one of them will offer me the job, meaning more regular hours, and none of this 3am bullshit. Although my current job has made it nice for me to run on my breaks, those days are over, as this week starts a 64 minute workout. Add that to 5-10 minutes changing and I’m WAY over my lunch break limit. I need to start running when I’m home. Tomorrow I cant, so I’m gonna try to after that.

My plans for Spain have changed, which may be another reason I’ve lost some spunk. We’re gonna try to go to Vegas instead, but last time we planned that, it didn’t happen because the flights filled up. 😦  I’m really hoping that doesn’t happen again because I fit into some of the semi-skanky dresses that I have from when I was younger, and I really want an excuse to go out and feel good about myself. I know that those dresses don’t have very many appropriate venues, but Vegas is definitely one of them. So, although I’m really bummed about Spain, I’m feeling hopeful about Vegas. Knowing I have to wear a mini dress in two weeks will hopefully keep me motivated for at least that long, as well as remind me that I’m doing this for a reason!

The week we get back should be my last one on the 10k planner too, which is pretty exciting.  I can’t believe my stamina has increased so much, and I’m really surprised that I’ve been able to stick to something for so long! This is my 11TH WEEK of running. That is nearly three months of setting a goal and sticking to it! That is freaking incredible! I need to think of this whenever I’m getting a little tired or bored with the program, because I don’t want to have to start it over EVER again. Only being able to run 60 seconds at a time is really embarrassing. Being able to run 52 minutes out of 55 is really cool. Even if I’m only going 3.6 miles in that much time, it is definitely an accomplishment to be able to keep going, even when I don’t want to or think I can’t. Ahhh, positive thinking! I feel even a little better just from writing this post. 🙂

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