Monthly Archives: April 2015

Monday Madness

Sooo LOTS going on this past week that kept me from blogging as much as I’d wanted to. BUT, I’m back at it today. Last weekend Jared, Felix, and I took a trip to Mercer and Grove City area to scope out some possible houses and to get a feel for some neighborhoods. We really liked a few that we saw from the outside so we called a local realtor and had her show us a few this weekend. I worked on Saturday, so we met with the woman on Sunday to have plenty of time and make a day out of the whole thing. Welllll, she showed us four houses, and another guy showed us one, and just as I feared, we kinda fell in love with one of them. Surprisingly, it isn’t the most expensive one that we saw, but it is definitely at the top of our budget. Here’s the thing; it’s incredibly exciting to look at houses that we might possibly move into, its very fun to dream about what it will be like when we move in to a house (since we’re currently living in my parents’ house and Jared drives over an hour to work), and I’m also EXTREMELY terrified of being able to make our mortgage.  So lots of good, and some healthy fears in there too. Anyways, after we saw the houses yesterday, we called to see if we could even get pre-approved, and we were informed that not only could we get pre-approved, but it could happen this week and be for even more than we were expecting. YAY! That is like a big grown up thing going on right now lol.

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Sunday Jared, Felix, the dogs, and I went to the river to celebrate being preapproved and to get some sun because the weather was SO NICE. Felix and I caught some sun 🙂

Other than the house hunting thing that is a big piece of my mind right now, I actually did a pretty good job managing what I ate last week. I’m happy to feel like I have a little bit of control again. I’m down 1.4lbs since the week before, and considering I’m not sure exactly how many I’m supposed to be eating while breastfeeding, I think this is a big success for me!

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I have to mention that I still love the MyFitnessPal app because it makes tracking my weight super easy and it shows me how I’ve been doing. When I originally started counting calories over a year ago, I was 282lbs. Well, while I was pregnant I got away from it, so even though I didn’t gain all of the weight back, I’m considering this a new start, especially since pregnancy did some things to my body that make this feel like a new journey.

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So these are going to be my new “before and after” pics.  This is my body right now, with little to no exercise, and post baby. I have always had a stomach that was embarrassing, so now that my body has also gone through pregnancy, my belly is extra gross. I am hoping that this is something I can work on over time. I know that this journey began a long time ago, but I want to start making new goals from my post-pregnancy weight, which was 257lbs. My first goal is to lose 10% of that, which would be just over 25lbs. SO, when I hit 232lbs, it will be a very huge accomplishment! I took one more step toward my weight ‘recovery’ on Friday too… I started the C25k workout again! I put Felix in the stroller and went for a jog. It was SO HARD pushing him up and down the neighborhood hills. But afterward I felt SO GOOD and so proud of myself. Friday is a weird day to start, but I needed to take advantage of the weather to remind myself how good it feels to do something healthy. The weather is super nice again today so I’m planning to go again when I get home tonight. I also hope to go again tomorrow too, because that is my day off! Woo!

Cookie Wednesday

I did something I’m actually proud of today. I reached acceptance on an issue I’ve been beating myself up over for the last few weeks.  I was saying yesterday about how its difficult for me to avoid eating cookies on “Cookie Wednesday” at work, and I’ve felt guilty every Wednesday for the past few weeks because of it. I’m sick of feeling guilty for my food choices, so instead of doing that today, I packed a tuna salad (which is only 100 calories!!!) so that if I had 2 cookies, my lunch would only be 380 calories. That’s an acceptable number for me, so I get to have my cookies and eat them too… haaa.

Last night I didn’t do any exercise. I know you don’t actually need a “rest day” when you’re not running, but being a mommy who works full time means I need a rest day every once in a while to make sure that I’m on top of all the things I need to be on top of. That includes spending quality time with my son… which I did last night instead of taking him for a walk with the dogs.  Tonight I plan to walk so it’s okay.  Plus Felix seems to like the carrier so it can count as some bonding time anyways.

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I’ve actually been struggling a little bit lately with nursing. I joined a bunch of support groups for breastfeeding in hopes that it would help me feel supported and encouraged while nursing my son.  Mostly they do make me feel that way… but Sunday he was so cranky that it was just killing me. I felt like I wasn’t producing enough milk and he was feeling so sick and icky that all he wanted to do was nurse all day. I was definitely TOUCHED OUT. He’s not even four months and I was feeling like giving up on nursing. My supply dipped and I was worried that I was drying up so ‘maybe I should just quit.’ That’s sick thinking. SO, instead of doing that, I added two pumpings at work to make up for it. I feel like a milk machine again. I so cherish the time in the morning and evening when I feel like I have him all to myself though. He generally gives me the cutest little half smiles.

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In fact, this morning, he was sooo happy and  smiley that I was actually late leaving because he was too busy smiling to actually nurse. It melted my heart and reminded me that I’m doing the right thing feeding him this way, and that was his little way of encouraging me to keep doing it. I didn’t used to believe in God, but I feel like this was a sign from God encouraging me when I most needed it.

So, I write this pumping at work and telling myself that ITS WORTH IT. Just as the eating healthy is too. Hooray for making good decisions just for today.

I know myself best I guess.

So, remember yesterday when I said that I’ll run depending on… whatever? Yeah, I didn’t run.  BUT, I did take a nice long walk wearing Felix with my mama. So, I’ll give myself half of a point for that. I didn’t start the running program, but I did get a little bit of exercise, which is what I’ve needed to do. So that’s that. I did stop myself from binging last night, and I also stopped myself from eating before bed, which is a big thing for me. So, another half of a point for that! haha.

Getting back into counting calories is really hard. I’m trying to find motivation again but right around the third day in a row, I lose it a little. For example, I did well yesterday, I’ve done well today… but tomorrow is “Cookie Wednesday” at work. Yay for my bosses for keeping morale up, but daaamn I can’t say no to cookies! I just need to count them if I have them… but I get discouraged when I can’t tell myself no. The best thing to do is probably go into it with a plan; make myself something with fewer calories for lunch (like a tuna salad) so that if I have ONE cookie, I’m not totally screwed up for the whole day.  Lets see if that works 🙂

Welp. Back at it.

Yeahhh. It’s been nearly a year since I posted because I did the whole ‘change everything in your life’ thing. But really, I changed pretty much everything but my husband:

1. I got pregnant

2. I got a new job

3. I got new hobbies

4. I had a baby

5. I got another new job

6. I moved out of Pittsburgh and into my parents’ house.

It’s been a very eventful (and stressful!) year.  Now my beautiful baby is 3 months old, and I’m trying like hell to find motivation to get active and eat healthy again. I totally fell off the wagon after I gave birth. I mean, while I was pregnant, I wasn’t the perfect picture of health, but I was eating plenty of fruits and salads, and I wasn’t binging nearly at all. I swear, after I had that baby and I started breastfeeding, I started getting really bad cravings again and I’ve been struggling with binging ever since. So here I sit at my fairly new job, in my own office, pumping and eating a turkey-on-whole-grain sandwich, telling myself that I need to get it together again. The breastfeeding thing gave me an excuse to eat whatever I wanted because I needed to get enough calories to keep my production up. Well, I’m dealing with production problems right now despite eating like a hog on Saturday and Sunday, so clearly that’s not true. Fortunately, I didn’t gain all of my weight back when I got pregnant, which was my biggest fear. Right now I’m weighing in at 254.6, which is up right around 10 lbs from where I started when I got pregnant. I haven’t been getting any exercise lately either, so I want to set a goal of doing the C25K thing again to see if I can get that number moving down again. It’s Monday, so this seems like as good of a time as ever to start it. The problem is that I get about 1.5 hours with my son each day because he goes to daycare while I work. So I’m either going to have to start running after he goes to bed, or put him in the stroller and push him while I run. I haven’t decided which one sounds like a better idea yet, but I’m thinking the stroller thing will be best because if nobody’s home when he goes to bed, I wont be able to leave anyways. Depending on the weather tonight, I may give W1D1 a try.

When I say things like “depending on….” it usually means that I’m not going to do whatever I said I’m going to do. So if I don’t do it tonight, then I need to do it tomorrow regardless of the weather. This is me giving myself a chance to prove ME wrong. I need to remember that not only am I doing this for my weight, I’m also doing this because I want to be able to enjoy my son when he’s running around. I need to get into shape so that I can be healthy enough to play with my kid.

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Felix, 3 months and soo charming 🙂