Monthly Archives: November 2015

Hard work pays off!

Finalllllly I got the weigh in I was waiting for! 

I lost 5.8lbs this week. I think some of that  was actually from last week and my weight just happened to be up on weigh in day, probably because of retaining water or high sodium foods the day or two before. Regardless, I’m down to 247 and it feels so good! That’s just three pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight and the weight that I was so proud to achieve a year and a half ago. 

I was worried that the plateau wouldn’t end. I was losing steam because I couldn’t stand working so hard and not having anything to show for it. So relieved. And hoping that I look good this weekend when we visit family. 


Roller coaster 

It’s been a fucking crazy day. I’ve been interviewing at new jobs lately because I’m frustrated where I work now. Welllll. I have two job offers on the table. 

One is non-guaranteed hours but good pay. The other is guaranteed hours with the same pay I have now… And an unclear potential for significant pay increases. I’m so confused. Should I stay where I am because I know what to expect and I have good hours? Should I take the first job and work my ass off to get all the hours I need but also drive more than I want? Or should I take the second job and hope they don’t burn me on pay in the future? 

Why should I trust them? Why should I stick my neck out? Well. I know I won’t be moving up in my current company. But I’m comfortable there and the hours are consistent and PTO is good. BUT the second one has decent PTO too and a potential to move up.  Ahhhhh. 

I went running tonight to see if it would help me decide. It was 5 min run then walk 3 then 8 run then walk 3 then run 5.  Yesterday’s was run 20 straight so today was pretty easy comparatively. I still had to run up my hill which is hard but it felt great. I didn’t make any progress on the decision but I do feel better. Haha. 

I’m planning my weigh in on Thursday since we’re going out of town for the weekend starting that day. Feeling good about this week. Fingers crossed that I’ll be under 250 for the first time!



Four weeks clean!

My fourth week was still pretty easy. I’m hitting that spot where I’m trying to find good food that is also healthy because the same five things are getting boring. Tonight I made beef tips in gravy for something different. They were pretty bland but at least it was something different. 

  It snowed while I ran tonight. Felix went to sleep instead of crying thank god but it was cold and wet and windy.  
 Tonight was w5d3 and it involved running 20 minutes straight! It was hard but I did it! I’m feeling pumped and excited to be going strong. Getting ready to finish a short work week – just tomorrow and the next day and then we’re heading to potter county to see Jared’s family. Eeeeek. 

It’s Friday and you know what that means

Weigh in day.  

I’m only down another 1.4 lbs. 😔 I’m trying to figure out what I did wrong this week. I actually ran four times (one of which was today though).  I know that I ate some crap last weekend on our trip and there were a couple days this week that stupid shit was offered to eat at work, but I was really feeling like I made some decent choices. 

I need to work on gratitude. I ran four times this week, I feel good physically, and I lost over a pound this week! My numbers are going down and not up. That is worth celebrating. 

If this continues another week then I’m going to have to go back to strictly counting instead of just working at making good choices. I don’t want to do that. But I do want to lose two or more pounds per week. So. I’m giving myself one more week. A week with no strange days where I am out of town or can’t run or whatever. 

In other news, the running is going really well. In the c25k program, it sends you a little message that says “you’ve made it half way! People who make it this far complete the program!” I like that thought. I’m on the last day of week 5 so I will be done in just about three more weeks. How crazy! I’ve already been running for four weeks and I’ve done so well that I’m ahead of time 😃

The sunsets have been gorgeous this week on my drive home. The days are getting so short but I do love a beautiful sky. See? Gratitude. 🌤🌙

Columbus adventure. 

This weekend we took a little family weekend trip to Columbus to catch up with one of Jared’s friends. He wanted to get a new tattoo so we made a weekend out of it. 

Our first stop was the German Town area of it. That historical area is adjacent to what they call the brewery district, so naturally we had to stop for lunch at the Columbus Brewing Co. 

The beer was pretty terrible. But the atmosphere was nice and I love going to that kind of place to try new stuff. Felix quite enjoyed it even if Jared wasn’t a fan.   

While Jared was getting his tattoo the next day, Felix and I had to keep busy on our own. We walked around the Ohio State campus for a while, shopped at some local stores, and went out for lunch. While there I pretty much only ate one big meal a day. I tried making the best choices I could (chicken sandwich and a buffalo chicken wrap with fruit) but this is one of those times that I wanted to splurge since we don’t travel very often. I feel like I made good choices, I got some exercise by walking, and even after a disappointing weigh-in, I’m happy I did it. 

Felix and I got pretty bored waiting for Jared for like 7 hours because he had to wait for someone else to get a tatto between the two he got. He was having a good time so I was trying to stay positive despite having a great time. We went to Barnes and Noble where they have some interactive play areas. I read him some books, he nursed while we sat on the floor. 
We found a Thomas the Train Engine set up that he absolutely loved. He was amazed at the cars riding on the tracks. I can’t believe how amazing it is watching him grow every day. ☺️

Unfortunate weigh in. 

Just as I feared yesterday… My weigh in wasn’t as good as I wanted.  

I lost 1.8 lbs. it’s actually not a bad weigh in after losing 4 lbs last week because the average over the two is right around 3. My mom said my face is looking thinner today. I think she was just being nice but I accepted it anyways. I’m down almost 10lbs from when I started getting back on track which is pretty cool. 10lbs in three weeks is great. I know it won’t continue to be such big numbers so I’m just trying to be grateful and focused instead of upset and disappointed. Disappointment is what gets me off track. So. Yeah. 

Tomorrow we’re going to Columbus for a little weekend trip. I’m excited to get out of town and adventure again. Felix will probably hate the car ride in his car seat for that long but it will be worth it I think. I’ll have to take pictures and document it. I’ll also have to work hard at eating healthy and getting exercise while we’re there. If the weather isn’t terrible tomorrow I may run before we go. We’ll have to see. It’s snowy and blustery tonight so I don’t have high hopes. 

Three in a row

Today I did my third run this week. It was w4d1. The c25k program is funny because it goes from intervals that add up to 9 total minutes of running in a workout to 16 minutes. The craziest part is that even though it’s almost double the running, it’s doable! I did it today and even though it was hard, I didn’t feel like I was going to die or anything haha. The difference between this time and last time is that this time I’m running around my block and one half of it is alllllllll uphill. The 5 minute section of running was the uphill part and (I was kinda gasping for air) so I slowed down but I did it and I feel good about it. I’m really proud to keep going and to have run three days in a row! I’m getting kinda addicted and obsessed so I know I’m still moving forward but I don’t want it to totally consume me. 

I’ve been weighing myself every day at least once. Just like last year, I go up and down depending on what time of day, what I’ve eaten, and what day of the week it is, I’m up or down from last week’s weight. It’s frustrating because I know I’m working out and eating well and some days it’s not showing up. This is exactly why I only do an actual weigh in once a week but maybe I need to say the scale is off limits on the other days. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. We will have to see what happens this Friday before I decide. 

On my way home from work today there was a gorgeous sunset. I was really angry and frustrated with work and I was trying to appreciate it but all I could think about is how I’ve been feeling like I’m being treated unfairly. I need to reach some acceptance at work and stop letting it get to me so much. Today started off really well but after our morning meeting someone else’s client came to my office. I’ve been working with him a lot so I knew he was going to come down because he left me a note to call him. Well. I didn’t call him because I was preparing for group, but he showed up anyways. He playfully demanded to use my phone so I jokingly asked him if he talked to his own counselor about it. He kinda snapped and it escalated quickly between us. He actually ended up storming out and slamming the door after I told him to speak to his own counselor instead of “counselor shopping.”  He didn’t like that. I completely expected him to come down and apologize for being an ass later in the day but he never did. I saw him again and he didn’t even make eye contact. It totally caught me off guard and shocked me because I’m usually a better judge of character than that. Can you say borderline personality disorder? 😬

I called his counselor about something I was trying to set up for him and he happened to be in the office at the same time. I heard him complaining about someone who he referred to as “she” so I assume it was me. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from it. I know I’m gonna have to work with him again and it’s just annoying to think about my own personal issues toward him. What I’ve learned is its better to be aware of them so I can be mindful when I’m with him but I am just annoyed. The running has been helping that this week because I’ve been annoyed most days. I wonder if my period is coming? 😑

Running away the anger

One of the best things about exercise is that it makes me emotionally stable. On my way home from work I was talking to my mom about how frustrating it is that one of my bosses is so unprofessional. I even said out loud, “I wish it wasn’t raining because I really need to run today.”  

I didn’t let the rain stop me. 😜 Felix and I went out in the misty drizzle and I worked it. It was the w3d3 workout and it wasn’t that hard. I think I’m ready to step up to week 4 so that’s what I’m going to do. Idk if I will run tomorrow or Thursday or both but tonight went so well that I kinda want to do both! 

I haven’t made any progress on the work frustration but I’m definitely more ready to go to bed without a racing mind so it’ll be all good. 🙃

Two weeks clean :)

Celebrating small milestones is important to me. The first two weeks can be really hard to get they and I feel like I really made them quick and easy. I’m already to the confidence level that has me planning how much I will lose by certain events. For example if I stick to this I’ll lose about ten more pounds by thanksgiving and 20 by Christmas. If I do, I could be in the 230’s at Christmas with my in laws. That would be incredible. 

I know it’s important to not get ahead of myself because I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment but it makes me feel hopeful and excited to keep working toward results when I think about what kind of change I could see over time. If I eat well today, I could be the lightest I’ve been since leaving Puerto Rico… By Christmas! That would be awesome. 

So somehow on Friday I accidentally skipped the third run of week two and went straight to week three. So today I have two of the three week three runs done and it’s only the first day of week three. I looked ahead and I was reminded of the terror that is week 4 and beyond so I’m going to do the last day of week 3 and one day of week four this week. And then next week I may do all three of week four even if one is a repeat. We shall see what happens but that’s what I’m thinking today. 

This weekend we had some nice family time. We got some alone time after a crazy day and took my favorite picture in a year. Saturday was pretty busy between going to a college football game with my parents and having some old friends over for dinner. All in all it was really nice – we don’t get to see friends very often because most of ours don’t have kids and don’t really get it lol. It’s always fun to see other parents of littles because Felix is such a ham and is so well behaved that it makes me super proud to show him off. He has such a great personality I just love to see him learn and interact with everyone and everything. 

  He’s always got a smile on, even in the cold. ☺️

  I love spending time with our little family. This is why I want to take care of myself better. I want to be better for the two who love me most. 

Fun friday

Made it through another work week without losing my mind and eating everything in sight! I also ate zero cookies on cookie Wednesday again! There were even some left over all the way up til today and I didn’t go for any! That is a lot of exclamatory statements in one paragraph. 

I ran Monday, Thursday, and Friday this week. I had planned for Wednesday to be a running day but it didn’t happen because I went out for lunch with Jared instead. I’d taken a half day so I could go to Erie with my mom so when I got home from work he wanted to go out for lunch instead of take a nap. So that’s what we did. I ate grilled chicken and broccoli that wasn’t very good. Thursday we got lunch too but I got a chicken ceaser wrap that was freaking delicious. I need to keep looking for lowish calorie options that I will enjoy when we go out or I won’t continue with this. 

I was really excited for my weigh in today because I felt really good about all of the choices I made this week. I’m down FOUR pounds this week! Im back to the 250’s! I thought it would take longer because I didn’t expect to lose this much this fast but I’m so excited! I’m not sure how it is even possible but I’ll blame it on the healthy food, exercise, and breastfeeding. It’s been really affecting my overall mood too. 

I’ve noticed that I’m really enjoying the little things. Watching Felix eat and explore the world makes me really happy. It’s amazing how much exercise can really make you feel better about everything. 

Felix really enjoys going running with me so it makes it even that much more worth it.  Knowing that he’s growing up around exercise is really important to me because I want him to be healthier than I am. Jared is heavier than ever right now and he’s getting frustrated with his body. He’s 188 lbs and about 5’8″. He doesn’t look fat at all but he complains how fat he is every day. It can be so frustrating because he refuses to do anyyyythingg about it but continually complains. When I’m “off the wagon,” I at least keep my negative thoughts to myself. It gets so annoying and at time I give him suggestions but he just refuses. It’s like he believes the weight will magically melt away one day with no effort. I used to think that but eventually I realized how much work it takes. Idk. It’s like the pot calling the kettle black so I’ll just keep it to myself but I need to vent somewhere so there it was.