Three in a row

Today I did my third run this week. It was w4d1. The c25k program is funny because it goes from intervals that add up to 9 total minutes of running in a workout to 16 minutes. The craziest part is that even though it’s almost double the running, it’s doable! I did it today and even though it was hard, I didn’t feel like I was going to die or anything haha. The difference between this time and last time is that this time I’m running around my block and one half of it is alllllllll uphill. The 5 minute section of running was the uphill part and (I was kinda gasping for air) so I slowed down but I did it and I feel good about it. I’m really proud to keep going and to have run three days in a row! I’m getting kinda addicted and obsessed so I know I’m still moving forward but I don’t want it to totally consume me. 

I’ve been weighing myself every day at least once. Just like last year, I go up and down depending on what time of day, what I’ve eaten, and what day of the week it is, I’m up or down from last week’s weight. It’s frustrating because I know I’m working out and eating well and some days it’s not showing up. This is exactly why I only do an actual weigh in once a week but maybe I need to say the scale is off limits on the other days. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. We will have to see what happens this Friday before I decide. 

  
On my way home from work today there was a gorgeous sunset. I was really angry and frustrated with work and I was trying to appreciate it but all I could think about is how I’ve been feeling like I’m being treated unfairly. I need to reach some acceptance at work and stop letting it get to me so much. Today started off really well but after our morning meeting someone else’s client came to my office. I’ve been working with him a lot so I knew he was going to come down because he left me a note to call him. Well. I didn’t call him because I was preparing for group, but he showed up anyways. He playfully demanded to use my phone so I jokingly asked him if he talked to his own counselor about it. He kinda snapped and it escalated quickly between us. He actually ended up storming out and slamming the door after I told him to speak to his own counselor instead of “counselor shopping.”  He didn’t like that. I completely expected him to come down and apologize for being an ass later in the day but he never did. I saw him again and he didn’t even make eye contact. It totally caught me off guard and shocked me because I’m usually a better judge of character than that. Can you say borderline personality disorder? 😬

I called his counselor about something I was trying to set up for him and he happened to be in the office at the same time. I heard him complaining about someone who he referred to as “she” so I assume it was me. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from it. I know I’m gonna have to work with him again and it’s just annoying to think about my own personal issues toward him. What I’ve learned is its better to be aware of them so I can be mindful when I’m with him but I am just annoyed. The running has been helping that this week because I’ve been annoyed most days. I wonder if my period is coming? 😑

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