Monthly Archives: December 2015

Guilt and obsession 

So I haven’t fully recovered from the weekend yet. All week I’ve noticed myself obsessing about food and my weight and eating… I’ve been grumpy and irritated like I’m withdrawing from heroin, if food were my heroin. It sucks. 

Also, I know I’ve gained while away and I’ve spent the rest of the week at home trying to break even but it isn’t happening and I’m totally obsessed. I was still up two pounds this morning and I was planning on weighing in tomorrow because it is another holiday but I don’t want to admit to the number on the scale. This will be my first plateau or gain in two and a half months and I’m feeling very disheartened. 

I have a horrible relationship with food and I found myself craving a binge all day long. I know part of it is how bored I’ve been at my new job, my body detoxing, and my preoccupation with the scale. The more time between me and Christmas, the easier it will get. The less time I spend doing nothing, the better I’ll feel. Just gotta make it through a couple more days. And hopefully not drink and much too much for New Years tomorrow. 


Tempo run

I still feel like a person who knows nothing about running or training. I’m running two or more miles 3-4 days weekly and I’m still doubting myself. 

Today was a 20 minute tempo run. I still struggle with doing things in order because of my complicated life and schedule, so it feels like I just did speed work, probably because I did. Regardless, today went alright. 

I remembered to take the screen shot before finalizing the run so I can see what my actual pace was, not including my warmup. 13:07 with the stroller over 20 minutes is good in my mind! I think I could have done better but I was feeling kinda weak and distracted all day. 

I marked it as a bad run because I was huffing and puffing the whole time, but I’m pretty sure that is the purpose of the tempo run (again, not that I have any idea whether that’s right or not). 

In other news, I’m starting to feel like my face is getting skinnier. I’m taking more pictures of myself, showing my confidence is coming back. Yay!

Christmas with the cranks… Cranky folks that is.

So. We went to visit Jared’s family as planned and it went about as well as I’d hoped. The emotional roller coaster that is traveling with a one year old was increased tenfold by the typical holiday stress and drama. 

Fortunately, I was able to get out for an easy run on Saturday, our last full day there, as well as Sunday when we got home. 

There is practically no cell reception anywhere in potter county so I’m pretty sure the speed is off, but I was definitely going slow so probably not off by more than 1-2 minutes per mile. I did the easy run that was supposed to be Sunday while I was there because I just wasn’t up for an interval run at 7am in a strange place after eating crap for two days. 

I did manage to take a blurry selfie halfway through for proof for my mom to know I actually ran haha.  

Yesterday I did my interval run that was scheduled for Friday because I just didn’t want to do it our first day there, especially after staying up all night with my kid who wouldn’t sleep. 

I figured out something cool on the Runkeeper app. On the interval runs, it tells you your interval speed as you’re going so you can decipher between fast and slow. The screenshot I got was of the overall average because once you complete it and save it, it doesn’t show you your different paces. I’ll have to remember to take a shot of it before stopping the run next time. I do remember looking and my first 10 minute interval had a speed of 11:20-something which is awesome! To keep that pace for 10 minutes is hard when your typical speed is 14-something! 

I’ve been weighing myself since I got back and I definitely gained weight over the holiday. I’m back on healthy eating track and am hoping that the scale will be forgiving on Friday. If not, I know what to do. Regardless, I feel good about most of my decisions and even better for getting back in the groove when I got home yesterday. Hopefully this shitty weather lets up so I can run tomorrow. 

Weighing in before Christmas 

Basking in all my glory today because I reached all the goals I set this week. I counted calories every day, I finally lost 10% of my body weight, and I’m in the 230’s by Christmas!!!!

  I’m down 3.8 lbs for the week, so obviously counting calories really worked this week! I figured I’d be at 239 point something so I wouldn’t really feel like 230’s but this is for real! I liked using the Myfitnesspal app to count calories cuz it makes it easy to look up foods from restaurants or whatever so you have a much better guesstimate if you can’t count them yourself. 

So this week’s goal is to not gain any weight, just like for thanksgiving. In a perfect world, I’d still lose a little, but I just don’t know what kind of food is going to be available all weekend so I’ll make the best choices I  can and still have a couple treats 😜

Christmas! Almost…

  1. Tonight we celebrated because we’re going to potter county tomorrow for the holiday and didn’t want to rush then. 

Felix wasn’t interested in ripping the paper but he was very interested in every light up toy he got! Christmas is fun with a baby. 

  Jared got me my favvvorite album from my childhood (other than the wall) for me, which I was clearly super excited about. Full disclosure, I saw on my computer that he got it for me like a month ago but regardless I am excited! 

Today I also ran with Felix. It was a 40 minute steady run. 

  Not negative splits tonight but I was running with Felix and my knee was killing me so I’m okay with it. I figured something out about the runkeeper app that I didn’t know – it is counting the warmup so I should have actually gone 45 minutes total. Now I know lol. I’ll have to do it differently in the future. 

Tomorrow is weigh in day 😬

Last day of work

So I’m in the middle of switching jobs. Yesterday was my last day at my old company and it didn’t really go the way I’d expected. The powers that be really suck there and are totally disconnected from what actually goes on. So, they didn’t realize it was my last day and they didn’t get me a cake or have a little meeting or anything. It was just the most awkward, disrespectful thing that has happened to me in a long time. 

I talked to my dad about it and his basic response was, “what did you expect?” It pissed me off but he’s right. I should have expected that, after all it’s that kind of thing that is a huge reason for me leaving the company. So annoying,but it made my last day a lot less painful than it could have been. 

Felix is sick right now so I didn’t want to take him out to run in the cold yesterday. I have the next week off so I’ll be able to run in the daylight with him when I want, except for the days we’re in potter county for the holiday. 

Today I did an interval run. It was brutal! 

2.6 miles in 35 minutes is pretty great for me! I’m excited for the time and distance, especially because right before my second to last fast interval I had to stop and use the bathroom. I thought I was going to poop my pants! Idk what is up with my stomach but it wasn’t good. The rest of the run was good, though, even though it was tough.  

Good splits, which really surprised me because I was sooooo tired for the last interval. It’s amazing what the body can do, cuz I was still jogging between intervals and was able to catch my breath without walking. I have no idea what I’m capable of on my own so its soooo nice to have a program telling me what to do. 

One other exciting thing happened today. I stepped on the scale this morning and saw 230’s for the first time in probably 3 or 4 years. It wasnt my official weigh in but it motivates me and reminded me why I’m doing this again. So awesome! Can’t wait for my real weigh in on Thursday morning!

Snowy Saturday run

I got out for an awesome run today while Felix and Jared took naps. I tried laying down but after about 20 minutes, I decided to get some exercise instead. 

  It was snowy! It was also on the program for today that I do 30 minute steady pace and that was in the back of my mind the whole time I was laying down. 

13:37 is an awesome pace for me right now and I made it over 2 miles in 30 minutes, which is also an accomplishment. I have to admit, running without the stroller is awesome especially on hills, but I’m not sure that is the only factor increasing my speed. It’s early in the day, I ate a car by breakfast, and I had more energy than I often do at the end of the day. I also went a couple of amazing rounds in bed this morning with Jared which is often a nice start to the day. 😉

Look at those splits 😜

Weigh in day!

And it was a good one. I actually woke up early, feeling anxious about it. 

I’m down 2.4 lbs this week despite eating kinda crappy on the weekend. Clearly the power of running is on my side. I need to keep that in mind as I have a bad week. If I’m not being as careful, I need to compensate with more running. Simple, but true. 

Goal for this week: accurately document caloric intake daily, regardless of what I eat. Also, I’ll be weighing in on Thursday so be prepared for that. 

New plan 

I ran four days this week! 👍 

  Even after celebrating Felix’s birthday on two occasions! I had to because I ate a bunch of crap. I also figured out my next step. The runkeeper app lets you create workout plans and goals so I started a plan that involves interval runs, fartleks and easy days.   

Today was 30 minute steady run. I inputted how far I normally run and at what speed and it developed a plan for me to follow. It’s gonna be really hard but I think doable. It’s gonna be especially difficult with visiting family next week but if I need to push it back I will. 

I’m glad to have a new plan tho! I was feeling anxious and a little defeated this week, worrying that I’d just give up and get out of shape but it’s looking like the opposite. Yay! I hope I can stick to it. 

Tomorrow is weigh in day. Fingers crossed after a week of making mediocre choices. 😬

Finding a baseline

Tonight I set out on my run totally unsure what I was gonna do. I started 10k program but realized that it was on the wrong day about 4 minutes in and decided to just run 30 mins. 

I used the runkeeper app to track my times and give me a better idea of my speed. I ran just over two documented miles and prob just under 2.4 real miles. 

I know I shouldn’t be disappointed that I was so slow because 2 months ago I couldn’t run two minutes let alone two miles but the 15 minute mile time has got to go. I could tell during the run I was going slow and took the first mile to actually get into it so hopefully my normal time will be faster than that.

If not at least I have a baseline to start my speed work from.