Guilt and obsession 

So I haven’t fully recovered from the weekend yet. All week I’ve noticed myself obsessing about food and my weight and eating… I’ve been grumpy and irritated like I’m withdrawing from heroin, if food were my heroin. It sucks. 

Also, I know I’ve gained while away and I’ve spent the rest of the week at home trying to break even but it isn’t happening and I’m totally obsessed. I was still up two pounds this morning and I was planning on weighing in tomorrow because it is another holiday but I don’t want to admit to the number on the scale. This will be my first plateau or gain in two and a half months and I’m feeling very disheartened. 

I have a horrible relationship with food and I found myself craving a binge all day long. I know part of it is how bored I’ve been at my new job, my body detoxing, and my preoccupation with the scale. The more time between me and Christmas, the easier it will get. The less time I spend doing nothing, the better I’ll feel. Just gotta make it through a couple more days. And hopefully not drink and much too much for New Years tomorrow. 

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