Today I worked really hard to hit the RESET button on my meal plans. I set my alarm and got up ‘early’ (relative, since I work til 3am) to go to the grocery store and find some things that I can make home-made that will be both satisfying and relatively healthy. At this point, I pretty much am open to eating ANYTHING homemade, because for the last few weeks I’ve been eating a ton of frozen dinners. They’re really convenient because they label how many calories and you don’t have to put any effort into making them. The weird thing, though, is that I have plenty of time to put into cooking and counting my calories, but I just haven’t been doing it. Things have come to a complete halt since I finished school, and I’ve been spending a lot of time doing nothing productive. I hate being this way, so I really want to start focusing on using my time wisely. Today was a great start for that.
When I got home from the grocery store I did some cooking. I made Salisbury steak and spinach/pepperjack stuffed flank steak. I had some of the Salisbury steak for lunch, and it was DELICIOUS. I could have eaten about 20 lbs of it, but I limited myself to 1 and 1/2 patties (about 200 calories). Something I had been doing the last couple weeks was only eating a hot pocket before I went to work. Regardless of waking up at 9am or 3pm, I only ate those 250 calories in the morning, which I think was a big problem. Some days I wasn’t actually hungry for more than that, but most days I was very hungry but wanted to ‘save’ my calories for later. I don’t know what made me think that was a good idea, but I definitely want to get out of that habit. I need to listen to my body and eat when it is hungry. A few weeks ago I remember thinking to myself, “It’s okay to feel hungry for a little bit.. I need to learn to sit thru the hunger.” The problem is, I think I’ve adopted a too-rigid attitude, which has really hindered my ability to stay on track. I decided that I could only eat one thing before 4pm, and that was the way it is. Well, today I say that is CRAP. I don’t think I need to be eating all 1200 calories by the time I get to work, but if I want to eat breakfast AND lunch, it shouldn’t hurt me. I feel so silly for forcing myself into that attitude.
I got some grapes and salad today, too. I like to eat tuna on a pile of lettuce because its pretty filling and its only like 90 calories if you use the ‘light’ tuna. That is a nice, low-cal meal that I actually like. I think I may start doing stuff like that for lunch. I also got soup that would be a good substitute at lunch. I like the grapes because I can munch on them for a while and not feel guilty at all. So, even if I feel like its mindless munching, its not really hurting anything (other than reinforcing the behavior of munching). Sometimes, you have to compromise I guess.
Tonight’s run was pretty sucky again. It was SO hot. I mean, like 80 degrees. There were a million people at the track and my legs felt strained the whole time. I had a lot of trouble getting into the groove of my run because I was constantly worrying about getting around someone or staying off to one side or the other. It was really annoying. PLUS my freaking headphones got fucked up about half way through and my left one stopped working except when it was in exactly the correct position. It was so annoying because when you’re running, you aren’t holding anything still, so it kept fading in and out. Soo annoying. Anyways, I did the same thing as yesterday; 30 minutes. I wanted to stop at ten, but I pushed through. I just kept telling myself, “I know I can run 30 minutes, so why would I stop now?” It seemed to work.
Instead of turning the app on for my warmup, I just turned it on when I started running, so today was only 30 mins, instead of 33. Its funny that it says its my ‘best time’ because its comparing TWO workouts lol. I was planning on running on the road, but there was a lot of lightening when I went outside and I didn’t want to get too far away in case it started to downpour. Fortunately, it didn’t do that until about 30 minutes after I got back to work.
Even though the run sucked, I did it. Tomorrow is going to be better, I KNOW it. I’ll have home-made food in my belly for two days at that point, and I’ll feel even more rejuvenated. Positive thinking! 🙂