Tag Archives: motivation

Another milestone

I was very very surprised for my weigh in this week because I (mistakingly) weighed myself every day and didn’t see the scale move – up or down. And then poof, Saturday morning: 

I stuck to my calories every day and got three solid days of running in to find a 2.2 pound loss. And I’m in the teens! I guess the Saturday weigh in worked this week. I shall continue that and see if I really am past the plateau or if this is a fluke. 

One other thing I decided to switch is to start drinking light beer again. I don’t think it will make a big change because I don’t drink a ton, but if I have 6 beers, it’s 300 more calories than if I were drinking light beer. That’s not a huge number but I think it will make a small difference in the long run. We shall see. 

I am still thinking about adding in some kind of strength training or weight lifting something but I don’t really know where to start or how to fit it in. Plus I don’t really enjoy it so it’s hard to feel motivated to do it. One of my friends stopped by last night and talked about doing the stairs at the gym, so maybe I’ll try that and see how I like it. 

Yesterday we also went out to the mall to walk and get some Felix energy out after going to Texas Roadhouse (yum!) so I had to take some pictures. 

Welcome to western pa where you can buy chickens at the local store. Turns out it’s a perfect, free almost petting zoo and the kid loves it. Win win!


Hitting Reset

Today I worked really hard to hit the RESET button on my meal plans. I set my alarm and got up ‘early’ (relative, since I work til 3am) to go to the grocery store and find some things that I can make home-made that will be both satisfying and relatively healthy. At this point, I pretty much am open to eating ANYTHING homemade, because for the last few weeks I’ve been eating a ton of frozen dinners. They’re really convenient because they label how many calories and you don’t have to put any effort into making them. The weird thing, though, is that I have plenty of time to put into cooking and counting my calories, but I just haven’t been doing it. Things have come to a complete halt since I finished school, and I’ve been spending a lot of time doing nothing productive. I hate being this way, so I really want to start focusing on using my time wisely. Today was a great start for that.

When I got home from the grocery store I did some cooking. I made Salisbury steak and spinach/pepperjack stuffed flank steak. I had some of the Salisbury steak for lunch, and it was DELICIOUS. I could have eaten about 20 lbs of it, but I limited myself to 1 and 1/2 patties (about 200 calories). Something I had been doing the last couple weeks was only eating a hot pocket before I went to work. Regardless of waking up at 9am or 3pm, I only ate those 250 calories in the morning, which I think was a big problem. Some days I wasn’t actually hungry for more than that, but most days I was very hungry but wanted to ‘save’ my calories for later. I don’t know what made me think that was a good idea, but I definitely want to get out of that habit. I need to listen to my body and eat when it is hungry. A few weeks ago I remember thinking to myself, “It’s okay to feel hungry for a little bit.. I need to learn to sit thru the hunger.” The problem is, I think I’ve adopted a too-rigid attitude, which has really hindered my ability to stay on track. I decided that I could only eat one thing before 4pm, and that was the way it is. Well, today I say that is CRAP. I don’t think I need to be eating all 1200 calories by the time I get to work, but if I want to eat breakfast AND lunch, it shouldn’t hurt me. I feel so silly for forcing myself into that attitude.

I got some grapes and salad today, too. I like to eat tuna on a pile of lettuce because its pretty filling and its only like 90 calories if you use the ‘light’ tuna. That is a nice, low-cal meal that I actually like. I think I may start doing stuff like that for lunch. I also got soup that would be a good substitute at lunch. I like the grapes because I can munch on them for a while and not feel guilty at all. So, even if I feel like its mindless munching, its not really hurting anything (other than reinforcing the behavior of munching). Sometimes, you have to compromise I guess.

Tonight’s run was pretty sucky again. It was SO hot. I mean, like 80 degrees. There were a million people at the track and my legs felt strained the whole time. I had a lot of trouble getting into the groove of my run because I was constantly worrying about getting around someone or staying off to one side or the other. It was really annoying. PLUS my freaking headphones got fucked up about half way through and my left one stopped working except when it was in exactly the correct position. It was so annoying because when you’re running, you aren’t holding anything still, so it kept fading in and out. Soo annoying. Anyways, I did the same thing as yesterday; 30 minutes. I wanted to stop at ten, but I pushed through. I just kept telling myself, “I know I can run 30 minutes, so why would I stop now?” It seemed to work.

Image Instead of turning the app on for my warmup, I just turned it on when I started running, so today was only 30 mins, instead of 33. Its funny that it says its my ‘best time’ because its comparing TWO workouts lol.  I was planning on running on the road, but there was a lot of lightening when I went outside and I didn’t want to get too far away in case it started to downpour. Fortunately, it didn’t do that until about 30 minutes after I got back to work.

Even though the run sucked, I did it. Tomorrow is going to be better, I KNOW it. I’ll have home-made food in my belly for two days at that point, and I’ll feel even more rejuvenated. Positive thinking! 🙂


Well. Its Monday…. and I think I have a case of the Monday’s. I woke up feeling STARVING, which is because I went to Applebee’s for dinner last night at like 9:30pm. I overate there, so today I felt that weird, empty feeling in my stomach that I used to feel all the time for binging right before bed. It was awful. Not only did I eat too much yesterday, I felt like crap today and admitted to myself that I feel totally off the wagon. I decided to return a book at the library this morning because I woke up with nothing to do, and I was already feeling bingey. So, I took Yoli over to Chatham to return my book, and on the way home, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was totally obsessed with the idea of eating fast food. I mean COMPLETELY obsessed. I was going to deposit a check on my way home, but decided not to because the fast food places are over by the bank. I was proud of myself for passing it up, until I got to the corner right before my road… I saw Arby’s, and without any hesitation went straight into the parking lot. I even said out loud, “I am being so impulsive.” I ordered three things, chicken, curly fries, and mozz sticks, which comes out to about 1,300 calories. At noon, I had already consumed more calories than I should have for the ENTIRE day. I felt so defeated when I got home. I, of course, at the entire meal, and then laid down to take a nap because I felt so shitty (and guilty).

I realized later that I’ve lost a lot of my motivation. It’s like I hit 35lbs lost and just hit a wall. The last week I’ve been working sooo hard to just push thru and keep doing what I should be, but with like 3 cheat days then, and then already two since my last weigh-in, I’m really struggling. I realized that part of the problem is that I really don’t like the 10k plan. I dread going out running for more than 50 minutes, and I just don’t feel any sense of accomplishment afterwards. I decided to take a break from it. I’m either going to just do the trainer a little bit at a time while I fit in shorter runs during the week, or I will just disregard it completely. So, today on my lunch break, I set out for a nice 30 minute run. It was tough, because I ate GARBAGE for breakfast, but it was pretty cool because I used a new running app, My Run Keeper.

ImageIts pretty cool because its pretty accurate and it lets you know every five minutes how well you’re doing. It comes on with notifications that say how long you’ve been going, what your average mile speed is, and how far you’ve gone. It was very helpful today because I was trying to challenge myself to have negative splits for the whole run. Since every five minutes has a notification, you can tell pretty easily whether or not you’ve sped up.

ImageI did a three minute ‘warmup’ where I was walking, so my average pace is a bit high, since my speed for those minutes was like 20 mins per mile. The average at the end is a little high, but I think its about right, since I usually guess that’s how fast I’m going, judging by the supposed distance of the track. I’m not convinced I went as far as it says I did, but either way, its pretty cool to see the workout summary there at the end. Next time I’m not going to start it until I finish my warm-up walk so it is more accurate. I think I’m going to stop running on the track, too, since it will mostly keep track of my mileage. I’m gonna try to run up on the sidewalk of the road tomorrow. I think if I keep the distance of my run down to something like this Ill be able to do it all four days in a row at work. That may make me feel better during the week AND help me stay motivated, which I totally need.

I know I need to mix up my meals, too, because what I’ve been eating is not getting me excited anymore. I think I’ve said this alot lately, but its more true now than ever. I can’t live in the guilt that I’ve been feeling all day, so I need to look forward to the food that I plan. So, here is my embarrassing number from last week:

ImageI only lost 1.2 more pounds, which is part of the reason I’ve been feeling crappy. I’ve lost my motivation and then seeing a crappy number did not help at all. At least if I’d put up a good number, I may feel more motivated… although I may also just feel like I can eat whatever I want and still lose weight, which is soo not true. SO, I’m taking this as a learning experience. This week, I want to hit 40lbs lost. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but I think if I can, I’ll feel more rejuvenated. Maybe not, but either way, I want to have a goal. Its only two more pounds, which is a healthy goal. If I run every day, and stick to my eating plan, it should be doable.  Here’s hoping.